黑段子三则

故事1：

星空，烛光，红酒。迷人的夜色中，肖雅含情脉脉地看着心上的那个他，等待着他说出“我爱你”。

他端起酒杯，轻轻启动双唇，终于说了。可是，却多了一个字：“我爱过你。”

天啊，只多了一个宇，可是含义却完全不同。肖雅崩溃了。在他接下来足足十分钟的“但是”里，她知道自己彻底失去了他。

那好吧，既然得不到自己爱的人，就找一个爱自己的人。当然，前提是他必须有钱！人们都说，精神上的失落可以由物质来平衡，她相信这句话。

朋友给她介绍了一个据说是土豪的男人。他开着豪车带她兜风，送给她很多贵重的首饰，还带她去自己豪华的别墅。她真的感到平衡了，打算答应他的求婚。可是，她忽然听到传闻：他的豪车是租来的，他的豪宅已经被抵押出去了，甚至那些首饰，都可能是假的。

肖雅震惊了，她把他叫出来大声问道：“你到底有没有钱？”

她希望自己得到的答案是“我有钱。”

他支支吾吾了半天，终于说了，可是却多了一个宇：“我有过钱。”

天啊，又是这个“过”字！肖雅愤怒了：为什么这个“过”字总是要和自己过不去呢？

和“过去的土豪”分手之后，肖雅销声匿迹了一段时间，家人和朋友都不知道她去哪里了。等她再出现在人们面前的时候，肖雅已经变得很平静了，好像之前的打击都己经被彻底遗忘。

一天晚上，她和朋友们一起去喝酒唱歌，到半夜才踏上回家的路。黑暗中，忽然冲出来几个蒙面歹徒围住她们，用刀威逼她们交出值钱的东西。别的人都吓得乖乖交出了自己的手机和钱包，肖雅却给了歹徒两个耳光。歹徒恼羞成怒，用刀一下扎进了她的胸口。谁知，肖雅不但没有倒下，反而扑上去咬住了歹徒的喉咙，一口撕下一块肉来，然后满嘴是血地仰头发出凄厉的大笑。所有人都吓得落荒而逃。

倒在地上的歹徒呻吟着问：“你怎么杀不死？”

肖雅附在他耳边轻轻地说：“告诉你个秘密：我死过了。”

故事2：恨骨

周海宁非常有钱，可是却得了怪病，全身发软，一点儿都动不了，只能瘫在床上。他的老婆和女儿都非常着急，带他去很多医院治病，都治不好。

这时，他在外地的儿子回来了，看了之后说：“我爸这是得了软骨病，要想好只有换骨。”

原来，他儿子在外面跟随高人学得异术，会一些旁门左道的东西。

周海宁老婆不解地问：“换谁的骨头啊？”

他儿子说：“换刚死之人的骨头。”

反正家里有钱，他儿子花重金请了一批盗墓的，半夜从坟地挖出一具刚埋葬的尸体。他儿子施展异术，把那具尸体的骨头抽出来给周海宁换上了。

不久之后，周海宁逐渐康复了，能走能动，完全和常人一样。这天晚上，一家人聚在一起为周海宁的康复举行庆祝晚宴。

周海宁拍着儿子笑道：“老爸真是没白养你啊，多亏你学来好本事救了老爸。来，老爸敬你一杯。”

他儿子举起杯子正要和周海宁碰杯，周海宁忽然举起酒杯，猛地戳向了儿子的眼睛。儿子惨叫一声，捂住了自己流血的眼睛。

周海宁老婆见状大惊失色，上来拉住周海宁的手臂。周海宁用另一只手拿起桌上的一个啤酒瓶砸向了老婆的脑袋，顿时就把老婆脑袋打开了花。周海宁女儿吓得大声尖叫，周海宁上去捂住她的嘴，勒住了她的脖子，一直到她窒息了才住手。然后，他又去厨房拿来了一把刀，对着倒在地上挣扎的老婆乱砍，把她砍死之后才住手。他坐在老婆和女儿的尸体中间，看着血流成河、惨不忍睹的场面，一下子清醒了过来。

他仰头大哭道：“天啊，我这是怎么啦？”

这时，家里开着的电视里传来一则报道：“近期，我市一名纵火犯的尸体被人盗走。该犯生前纵火烧死了整个公司的人，死者家属都对其恨之入骨。”

周海宁倒在地上的儿子呻吟道：“是我错了。没想到，给你换上的是这个人的骨头，他的骨头里充满了那些死者家属的怨恨，是恨骨。恨骨让你发疯了。”

故事3：杀死人的眼神

年轻的导游刘微微带着一帮游客进了一个漆黑的山洞。

她神秘地说：“据说这个山洞里住着一个千年老鬼，它被高僧用下过咒语的巨石压着，只有头部露出外面。因为吃不到人，它已经饿得快要死了。谁要是帮了它，它就能满足谁一个愿望。”

游客们既害怕又好奇，纷纷打着手电在山洞里寻找起这块巨石来。忽然，山洞里阴风阵阵，地面一下塌陷了。游客们惊叫着落人坑中，一个硕大无比的鬼张开血盆大口一下把他们都吞了下去。

刘微微因为正好站在贴着洞壁的一块石头上，没有掉下去。她惊魂未定地看着坑内的恶鬼，吓得浑身哆嗦。没想到，传说竟然是真的。

那个鬼满意地打了个饱嗝。刘微微仔细看，发现它果然被一块贴着符咒的石头压住了身子。

刘微微忽然灵机一动，朝着坑里的鬼说：“这些人是我带进洞里的，我算是帮了你。你可以满足我的一个愿望吗？”

那个鬼打了个饱嗝说：“小姑娘你可真会抓机会。好吧，你想要什么，”

刘微微说：“我想要拥有那种可以杀死人的眼神。”

鬼笑道：“我满足你。”

刘微微喜出望外。她逃出洞外，匆匆赶回了家里去照镜子。她想立即看看自己是否真的有了那种可以杀死人的眼神。

镜子里的她又矮又胖，一副没人爱的模样，可是那双眼睛此刻却散发出了充满魅力的眼神，一会儿是楚楚可怜的，让人一见就想保护她：一会儿是无比性感的，让人一见就想占有她；一会儿又是天真无辜的，让人一见就想拥她入怀……

刘微微兴奋地盯着镜子里自己的眼神，脑海里幻想起自己被无数男神环绕的情景。

忽然，她感到呼吸急促，全身抽搐，一口鲜血猛地从口中喷出。她惨叫一声倒在了地上。

原来，可以杀死人的眼神不是形容，是真的，她把自己杀死了……

Introduce:Story 1: Sky, candle power, red wine. In glamorous dim light of night, those who be like ground of elegant exuding tenderness and love through eyes to look at a heart to go up that him, awaiting him to speak " I love you " . He carries a goblet, start double lip gently, said eventually. But, much however a word: "I had loved you. " day, only much an eaves, but the meaning is complete however different. Xiao Ya broke down. In him next fully ten minutes " but " in, she knows she lost him thoroughly. Good, since cannot get the person that oneself love, seek a person that loves oneself. Of course, premise is he must have money! People says, the lose on spirit can be balanced by material, she believes this word. The friend introduced a man that is local tyrant allegedly to her. He is opening car of a person of extraordinary powers to take her to go for a spin, send her a lot of precious jewelry, still take her to go oneself luxurious villa. She feels a balance really, the plan promises his courtship. But, she hears a talk suddenly: Car of his a person of extraordinary powers is to hire come, his a person of extraordinary powers had been gone out by guaranty curtilage, even those headgear, may be a holiday. Xiaoya was astonished, she calls him to ask aloud: "Do you have money after all? " the answer that she hopes she gets is " I am rich. " he fumbled a long time, said eventually, can be much however an eaves: "I had had money. " day, it is this " over- " word! Xiao Ya annoyed: Why this " over- " does the word always want to be impassable with oneself? And " the local tyrant in the past " after parting company, xiao Ya disappeared from the scene for some time, family and friend do not know where she goes to. When waiting for her reappear to be before people, xiao Ya has become very quiet, the blow before seeming personal classics is forgotten thoroughly. A day night, she and friends drink together sing, just set foot on the way home to midnight. In darkness, develop gangster of a few unconscious faces to surround them suddenly, with knife intimidate they hand over worthy thing. Other person is frightened darlingly the mobile phone that handed over oneself and purse, xiao Ya gave a gangster two slap however. Gangster be ashamed into anger, use a knife to plunge into the wind that took her. Who knows, xiao Ya not only did not topple, attack instead bite into the gangster's throat, tear down readily a meat comes, next full mouth is hematic ground admires a hair to give sad and shrill yock. Everybody is frightened be defeated and flee. The gangster that falls on the ground is moaning ask: "How are you killed not dead? " Xiao Ya adds in his side side to say gently: "Tell you a secret: I had died. " story 2: The Zhou Haining that hate bone is very rich, but got strange disease however, systemic hair is soft, a bit is not moved, can paralysis is on the bed. His wife and daughter are very anxious, take him to go to a lot of hospitals treating a disease,