谋杀自己

19.落幕

乐儿是一个礼拜后从医院出来的。出院那天，天气晴好，天空一碧如洗，万里无云。

她手里攥着胡佑明写给她的信，信是胖警察从她的木质地板里撬出来的。警方已经给胡佑明的死亡定了性，这是一场预谋已久的自杀。

胖警察，这个害死她父母的凶手，七年后，竟以一种奇怪的方式，阴差阳错地在另一起案件中被逮捕归案。她下的毒，她杀的人，她的密谋，到头来在警方的档案里居然没有留下任何蛛丝马迹。

乐儿茫然地站在街头十字路口。在等待红绿灯的间隙，她重新摸出信纸，阅读起自己已经烂熟于心的字句。

乐儿：

当你收到这封信时，我已经去了另一个世界。你不必悲伤，因为我与你之间不过是一对萍水相逢、互相慰藉的陌生人而已。

我的死并没有什么值得难过的地方。如果唯一要说，只能叹一句时不予我。你也大可不必为痛恨过我而感到丝毫内疚，因为这两年来，我只是利用了你的青春美貌，为自己苟延残喘的生命增添一丝乐趣罢了。

我死之后，这笔钱属于你，你带着它们去任何你想去的地方，过你想过的生活。只是不必记得我，也不必再回顾我与你的过往。

去吧，我的姑娘，你拥有一双湛蓝色的眼睛，不要再让它们被我这样的罪人污染。我并不爱你，从不爱你，再见了。

胡佑明

信的末尾，是一个银行保险柜账号，102号，密码是她的生日和姓名拼写。乐儿尝试了几次，在“安乐”这个名字无法应答之后，哆嗦着双手，输入了“迟乐”二字。

保险柜开了，里面是张承志曾经带走的属于姐姐的全部财产，他将那些钱兑换成了等值的黄金。

那一刻起乐儿就明白了，连司机都能从模糊的碎片中认出她，更何况曾与她相处甚久的胡佑明。

他知道她是谁，知道，所以不认她。知道，所以由着她杀了自己。

胡佑明拿自己的命换了她的仇恨。他拿走姐姐的财产，精心策划了七年。他刻意在厕所的呕吐，暗示她黄楼的到来，还精心准备了和她常用维生素片相同大小的药丸，这一切，都是胡佑明故意为之，用来洗清她嫌疑的手段。

她拼了命地想要谋杀的那人，却拼了命地保护她。

他不爱她，他在信的末尾这样写着。

乐儿仰起头，任凭眼泪如细碎的流沙般顺着脸颊滑下。其实她明白的，一直都明白，张承志没有害死她姐姐。她从张承志看着姐姐的眼神里读出了自己的影子。那种无能为力的心疼与爱怜，是无法被掩藏的。

如今，当一切尘埃落定时，乐儿终于可以承认自己的爱意，也终于明白了胡佑明的初心。然而那又如何呢？

此刻，乐儿全身都被一种无法名状的痛苦包裹着。胡佑明也能看得见人眼中的色彩，他的这份能力似乎通过杀戮传染给了自己。那么张承志呢，在他面对这个世界时，他的双眸，到底是什么颜色，他看着自己的时候，自己的眼睛，又到底是血红色多，还是蓝色多一些呢？

Introduce:High group of 1. homicide case issued patron wagon, extended a lazy waist. The work in the same placing that reach first had pulled cordon, go out of cultivation all round, do not have passerby gesticulate. High group is taking Xiaoliu and fat person one before one hind, the cordon since hold up is crossed into cautionary area. Be in perambulatory one week later, final lock is in the look of high group surely in the center of the spot. On the ground over there, putting 3 bodies flatly. High group asks for help, xiaoliu struck fat person with elbow, fatso, feel exit cover to hand from the bosom rapidly high group. He covers shut up is nose, explore body goes, hold up opens calico. The face of 3 bodies is bitten ulterly changedly by the beast, brains pours out of afterbrain, half caky go up in their poor hair. Xiaoliu is a little queasy, no matter look how many times, the odour that still cannot be used to the spot and these appearance are unusual miserable body. High group puts down calico, twist a head to see him. "Want the word that say, go to that. " then, he carried next trouser legs gently, crouch a private parts, with the guaze mask in the hand, raise an a mere skeleton artifice. "There is dactylogram —— on the hand " high group said gently sentence, answer a body then. Xiaoliu leaves not nearly, complexion is pale. Fatso is knitting eyebrow, holding boxing mouth, that sound resembles from squeeze in throat those who come out is same, still taking some kind of ambiguous bubble tone. Looked a little while, high group laughs, rise whisk whisk is grey. "Went, control a group. Xiaoliu, you go checking the status that checks these a few people, see that body that before mixing, finds have a concern, do not be troubled by to me give a what interlink murderer to go. Fatso, you remember staring at division of card of close ancient bronze mirror, urge them to give the report to me rapidly come out. " an autumn wind has been blown, high group hit a shiver, sound arrives last, quiver. His rub wash one's hands with invisible soap and imperceptible water, raise a head, the sky has bird lonely of black to had flown, occasional is worn give out the clamour with cold Gu. "Change of weather ah. " high group solilo-quize path. 2. Guide oneself act oneself after take a seat, happy build fine and slender finger gently in goblet brim, if if do not have the ground,have down rock of water of that a bit wine in the cup. Red glacial wine, smell is sweet alcohol is thick, do not add an attention to be able to have an insatiable desire for much addiction, next drunk past, till senseless. So very good, so best. He raises goblet, shook to fall gently, eye shoot a glance at shoot a glance at is happy, come back to removed namely, that color does not have a change. Calm, he admonishs oneself, at the moment any unusual frighten likely retreat happy kill to his meaning. In the room horological " tick " going, here has two their people only. Without eyewitness, without monitoring, be impossible everything what appear is accident, of need is the courage with small little only, and the time that he arranges just. "Today