木勺伏仙捉鬼记

8、恐怖变味了

天色变暗了，天上布满了厚厚的乌云，隐隐有雷声。

姜不了又去了那家福寿店。

他刚进门，雨点就噼里啪啦地落了下来。

店里没开灯，很暗淡。店主正在糊一个纸人，是个童女，身体还没完全合拢，裂着一条黑糊糊的缝儿，里面没有心肝脾肺肾。

白天，那些花圈寿衣骨灰盒之类的东西看上去不那么可怕，光线变暗之后，它们顿时变得叵测起来，透着一股鬼气。

“坐吧。”店主的语气很平静，似乎早就知道他会回来。

姜不了坐下来，左边是牛头，右边是马面。他左右看了看，觉得不吉利，起身坐到了观音菩萨身边。

“玉皇大帝不管用？”店主头也不抬地问。

“对。”

“到底发生了什么事？”

姜不了把事情从头到尾说了一遍。他忽然觉得，眼前这个成天和鬼神打交道的人，可能有办法救他。

店主静静地听着，手上一直在忙活。听完，他沉默了几秒钟，说：“我跟你去看看那个女人。”

“好。”姜不了仿佛抓住了一根救命稻草。

天已经黑了，木勺镇一片漆黑，静极了。

他们不快不慢地走。

姜不了有些担心，因为店主空着手，没带桃木剑，没写符咒，也没准备任何看上去能伏仙抓鬼的东西。

“你怕了？”店主停了下来。

姜不了默认了。

“你怕什么？”

姜不了一时语塞。他不知道自己怕什么。怕鬼？怕雷公电母？

店主又说：“你害怕，是因为你不知道那一男一女是什么，对不对？”

“对。”姜不了立刻说。

店主继续朝前走，一边走一边说：“我入行三十年，从没见过真正的鬼神。我也相信，世上没有那些东西。我卖钟馗，卖玉皇大帝，只是想让大家能有个壮胆的东西，不再疑神疑鬼，不再胡思乱想。”

姜不了若有所思。

到家了。

屋子里没开灯，很黑。那个女人隐在黑暗中，不知道她在干什么。

姜不了打开了灯。

那个女人蹲在电视机前面，双手摸来摸去，可能是在寻找开关。她回头看了一眼姜不了，不动了。

姜不了走过去，帮她打开了电视机。

店主盯着那个女人看了半天，说：“她的精神不太正常，或者，她的智商低于常人。”

姜不了没说什么。

店主又说：“你用电笔试试她。”

姜不了找出电笔，戳了戳那个女人，电笔亮了，又戳了戳那尊泥像，电笔也亮了。

店主的眉头皱了起来。思索片刻，他说：“你把电笔给我。”

姜不了把电笔交给了他。

店主拿着电笔，戳了戳那个女人，电笔亮了，又戳了戳那尊泥像，电笔也亮了。

姜不了说：“我试过很多次了，她身上确实有电。”

店主拿着电笔翻来覆去地看，忽然戳了戳自己。

电笔亮了。

店主说：“电笔坏了。”

那个女人不是电母。

只是电笔坏了。

后来，这件事传了出去。有家电视台听说了，派来几个人，把姜不了的遭遇拍摄出来，在电视台播出了。

那是一档很有名的科普栏目，你或许也看过。

他们还调查了住在水泵房里的那个男人，最后证明他也不是雷公。那个轰隆隆的声音，只是他的鼾声。

恐怖一下子变成了笑话。

只是，没有人笑。

Introduce:Explain the name of this story above all. Wooden spoon is a place name, wooden spoon is pressed down. Fu Xian catchs spirit, looking is two things, it is a thing only actually. The person that wooden spoon presses down cannot judge the quality of that thing. Be celestial being? Be ghost? 1, the flood makes that place call wooden spoon the town, hill tall emperor is far, folkway is out-of-the-way, stand aloof from the worldly affairs. After a heavy rain passes, wooden spoon town became a lake. After 7 days, water was retreated. Ginger not carrying bag of a chemical fertilizer on the back, go toward the home. What install in bag is convenient cover and ham bowel, still have a bedclothes, it is goods and materials providing disaster relief. 7 days ago, when he escapes from the home, smooth buttocks. Those a few houses still stand in place, have the mark that is passed by bleb apparently. A few crab crouch on housetop, looking him up and down with one's eyes open, regarded him as a person that enter. In the house one ins disorder, wooden bed mounted Fang Liang, basin of boiler bowl gourd ladle is everywhere. Ginger not was stupefied a period of time, begin to clear away. Neighbour people came back in succession, old wooden spoon is pressed down ground of at a leisurely pace lived to come over. Clear away central room, ginger not house takes day on the west. Open the door, he stays immediately. On the west on the bed of house, cross one's legs is sitting a woman. She is about 30 years old, appearance still calculates decorous, wet hair is stuck on forehead, smooth buttocks. There is one honour mud to resemble in her bosom, one rule is much higher, not be Bodhisattva, not be mammon, not be to close fair. Ginger not terrified terrified ground looks at that honour mud resembles. Say exactly, it is the bosom that looks at her. Excuse him, he is a ruffian. She is motionless, looking ginger up and down with one's eyes open not, crab of that eyes and house apical exactly like. Spent about half hour, ginger not look enough, exclamation, ran out. Neighbour people hear sound, ran. Ginger not block up in gate mouth, let a woman take the door only. Female people was entered on the west house, did not come out a long time. Men are waiting outside the gate, listen to ginger not the bosom that describes that woman and buttock, still have that honour mud resembles. Their expression is unusually vivid, somebody still poured out of saliva. There is half person in them is ruffian. Female people came out eventually. They tell ginger not, that woman is a fool, still be a dummy, no matter what ask, she not throat. They still tell ginger not, the bosom of that woman and end are very old, very strong, the likelihood still is a maiden girl. Big tit old end is maiden girl, these inviting words allow a surname not forgot that woman immediately foolish dumb. Other ruffian is likewise such. Somebody bids 3000, beg ginger not the ownership that transfers that woman. Ginger not hesitated a period of time, still closed an entrance door, involve those malicious men outside the door. This does not have report overnight, wooden spoon town is inky