茶缸里的女孩

拾壹

陆太太倒算仗义，她是唯一到精神病院探望过我的人，事实上，我所有的诊疗费用，也都是她出的。

她说：“我和你的主治医生谈过，你其实没什么大问题。你之所以总是对那个女孩念念不忘，是因为你对她心存愧疚。你好好想想，你到底对她做过什么？”

我轻轻闭上眼睛，我对她做过什么？

不，我什么也没有做，我就是恨自己什么都没有做，我恨自己，恨到咬牙切齿。

那一天，也就是在她成为瞎子的前一天，她紧紧拽着我的衣角，一边紧张地四下张望，一边低低地、急促地说：“姐姐，你救救我，他们明天就要挖掉我的眼睛了，因为那样能讨到更多的钱。”

我挣脱她的小手，加快了脚步，可她依旧紧追不舍：“姐姐，我知道你是好心人，你帮帮我，求求你！我是被拐卖来的，我想我爸爸妈妈，我想继续上学，我长大还想成为科学家……姐姐……”

我也想继续上学，我也有“成为科学家”一类的梦想，所以我不能自找麻烦。那一天我什么都没有做，只是漠然地甩开她的手。我说过，我的同情心，只限于一枚硬币。

拾贰

陆太太将我从精神病院接了出来，依旧做她家的钟点工，仍然不做任何家务，而是帮她一起调查11号别墅的李小姐。

李小姐是一个富商的情妇，她早在一年前就奢盼着能为富商生个一男半女，然后母凭子贵，借势夺取正位，可惜她肚子一直不争气。据说李小姐每天都炖奇怪的肉汤补养，陆太太怀疑那些肉是小孩的内脏，而她女儿就是被李小姐害死的。

陆太太越来越憔悴了。有一天，她凝望着墙壁上的照片，喃喃地说：“要是那一天我没有让她到门外罚站就好了，她只不过背错了一句唐诗而已。都是我的错……”

说完这句话，她马上警醒地大声说道：“不！都怪那个残忍的杀人凶手！他害死了我的宝贝！我要报仇，我必须报仇！”

那一刻，我突然明白，陆太太其实什么都知道。

她知道杀死女儿的凶手已经正法了，她知道朱老师不是凶手，李小姐更不是。

亦如我，我自始至终都知道，那个曾经日夜纠缠着我的女孩，并不是鬼，而是我的心。

我们都一样，一点一点地，把那些无法面对、无从改变的过去，变成愈加无法面对的现在和将来。

我们总是这样。

Introduce:One I am most be scared pass that crossover, because over there always can appear a few children that taking broken meal crock to cadge, of the passerby of look try to gain that they use beg for pity every day sympathize with, time is long, everybody, include themselves, lost patience, then people should pass the grade only crossover, can quicken a pace, and those children criterion coma ground, bite dingdong place is ramshackle mug follow closely is behind people. I am very few almsgiving beggar, because myself returns be busy enough with one's own affairs, suspend one's schooling works, rush about to dream and work day, do not have idle affection already, also go without spare cash almsgiving those reap without sowing fellow people the disabled that —— pulls introduced from the northern and western nationalities or from abroad sing for a living besides those goes up to combing that with crossover the little girl of towering plait. The child that she mixes all is in on crossover to cadge is not had different, thin dirty, the look of beg for pity secures a kind of fulsome format on the face, all day changeless. She can move my purse, be cadge because of hers tool. That is a time the white mug with mottled mark of ages ago, rust, a side of the mug is imprinting misshapen " award " word. It always makes me associate to certain and divine and pure thing, than the worker that is like a cautious and conscientious' conscientious perhaps farmer, they exchanged this mug with the labor of all the year round, and regard a kind of honor that is worth affirmation as it, and now, the offspring of this mug host, however beggar of fall completion street. Give her a coin everyday, make I and her agreement almost, this kind of agreement became a custom later. Until one day, the girl becomes avaricious rise, after getting coin, she follows in my back closely as before, still buy my garment part with dirty little hand even, in the mouth low low-lying muttering, say whats do not agree to let go, I am forced to overturn her impatiently the step in crossover to go up. Since then, I also cross her without almsgiving again, my compassion the heart has limit, be restricted only a coin. Later one day, she the double eye of bright bark became two black hole indescribably; Soon, her dirty little face became the marsh of bumpy, was spilled it seems that vitriolic; Again later, her double foot was broken off; When seeing her for the last time, her limb became a decoration, the body is secured to be on a dirty board by chain, copy is like an inferior wooden baby; Final, she and her mug disappeared together. Two I am a cultured hour labour, wash clothes technically for those cultured rich people cook arrange housework. My client has 3 only, be in area of same and individual villa. Arrived at 11 o'clock in the morning everyday afternoon at 1 o'clock, I serve in 7 villa, arrived at 1 o'clock 3 o'clock is 4 villa, 4