寄生之灵

【7】我又是谁

第二天早上醒来，如我所料，海滩上一片热闹景象，许多警车停在海滩上，许多警察在走来走去，向一些围观者问话。这是又一起凶杀案，每年一起，今年果然没有落空。

但我决定不自首，我的理由是：反正现在我已经清醒了，知道了自己的病灶所在，那么，作为一个心理学教师，一个心理学方面的专业人士，我控制和矫正自己的病态心理和分裂人格，应该不成问题。

但看来我是高估自己了，仅仅是在几天后，一切就又失去了控制，因为素素又回来了，那是一个中午，我突然听到了素素在我身边说话，她说：“月楼，你后悔杀了他们吗？”

我左右看看，没有素素的影子，我战战兢兢地对着空气发问：“素素，是你吗？”

素素回答说：“是我。”

我说：“你在哪里，为什么我看不见你了？”

素素说：“难道你忘了吗？你曾经说过，我们要相守一生，永不分开的，但外面已经不安全了，我只有藏在你的身体里，这样我们就永远在一起了，你害怕了吗？你觉得这样不好吗？”素素又问我。

我说：“不，素素，我一点都不怕，我只是觉得我们不应该再杀人了，我们已经杀了那么多人了，如果再这样下去，我们最终会毁了自己。”

素素突然歇斯底里地尖叫起来，她用一种近乎嘶哑和无比难听的声音质问我：“月楼，你为什么要这样说，你在同情他们吗？但你为什么不想想，他们同情过我吗？如果他们对我有过稍微的同情，那么我就不会被活活淹死，难道你很愿意我死吗？”

我该怎么阻止她？似乎只有报警了。于是，我找到了那个王姓警官的电话，拨通了它，我说：“王警官，我是吴月楼，人是我杀的，这几年来的死亡事件都是我干的，因为我的身体中有两种人格，一个是我妻子，一个是我自己。现在你来抓我吧。”

我放下电话后，就抓起了那把刀，出了门，走向海滩，现在我的心里只有素素的一个声音：“没有时间了，再去杀一个，杀一个就赚一个，快去！”

但非常遗憾，这最后一个人我最终没有杀死，因为王警官非常及时地赶到了，就在我举起刀的那一瞬间，我听到了他的大喊：“胡素素，快放下刀，否则我开枪了！”

我诧异地回过头，问他：“王警官，你为什么喊我妻子的名字，难道你相信是她在杀人？我以为没有人会相信我。”

但王警官对我又是一声大喊：“胡素素，你醒醒吧，不要再演戏了，你丈夫吴月楼四年前就已经在这片海滩上溺水而死了，杀人的一直都是你，我们早就在怀疑你了。”

我以为自己听错了，于是我又问了一次：“王警官，你说什么？”

他又大声说：“你就是胡素素，这里只有一个叫胡素素的疯女人，就是你！”

天啊，怎么会是这样？不，不可能！一刹那间，我心里充满了怨恨，我毫不犹豫地又一次举起了手中的刀，这时枪响了，我只觉身体仿佛被什么猛的击打了一下，然后就软软地倒在了地上，而我持刀的手正好搭在我的右胸口，这时，我发觉它碰触到了一只乳房，一只我非常熟悉的乳房，我妻子素素的左乳房，在那只乳房靠里面的位置长有一颗痣，我经常和我的妻子素素开玩笑，说它是第三只乳头——但现在它竟长在我的身上……

在失去意识之前，我心里的最后一个想法是：莫非我真的是我的妻子素素？

Introduce:[1] before I write down horrible beach so that be in 10 years, I still am the poor student of a psychological major, a person will to this face inshore new city, be oneself yearning life, and learning conscientiously and going all out in work hard, the awaits me dream when I remember that is the psychological doctor that becomes to have charter, a clinic can open in this beautiful city, make money the ground greatly, be in next face inshore somewhere, buy a small house, marry a virtuous wife, the lifetime that lets oneself is full of warmth and easy and comfortable. Because this dreams, I stand to look at the sea in coastal edge constantly, it is next when the return trip, enumerate is worn a that below the foot of a hill on the coast small villa with an elegant structure, imagining the some day in future, oneself can be which villatic host. A certain number of after year, I did not become doctor of a psychology finally, became the psychological teacher of a college and suspense fictionist however, had this to overlook inshore room, it reposes in the —— between half way up the mountain I had not needed to stand in coastal edge to look at the sea now, I need to stand before my indoor and tremendous French window only, already OK general view at the moment the overall distant view of the sea. Of course, I also had a beautiful wife, if what I wish, she is a virtuous woman, marry 5 years to come, she never has had quarrelled with me, she always is ground of unknown to public all bagatelle in doing good life for me, good let me set his mind at to compose, tell the truth, in this I am thankful extremely at her. Await in those days, although my name is not big still, but the money that relies on to write a novel to earn, family expenses of already enough allowance. I still have besides the profession of a college teacher, although be in a week, I am only 3 two class. Come a few years, we are in this small house that overlooks the lake, live insipid but happy however life. But come in this summer when, I was stayed in to seize by a kind of weird feeling suddenly. Indescribable, a kind of scared feeling was full of in my heart, always feel to the thing with bad what was about to happen, I begin to become irritating rise with unusual panic, as if some kind of danger has been approached, be in with respect to suspension my the top of head. The drawing near till this day when the dusk, my wife element says suddenly to want to go the seaside swims, be in hear this one word one instantly, my neurosis erupted again, I feel suddenly dangerous to resemble is a sharp same, hang on our the top of head again, I am hysterical ground cries greatly to her almost: "Do not go seaside, wife, do not go seaside! " [2] interlink is murdered later, the germ —— that I discovered the indescribable panic in my heart eventually since my occupy